A Simple Guide to Building Your Self-Confidence
If you want to be like Beyoncé, but you feel like Kelly Rowland, your self-esteem may be the issue. Comparing yourself with someone who didn’t make it as big just shows that you may not be as confident about who you are as a person.
However, lack of confidence can be tackled with easily if you persevere in your mission. You can gradually increase your self-confidence by identifying who you want to be, what you want to do, and making sure that you erase the distance between your current state and your desired state. The following guide can offer some tips on how you can improve your self-image.
Work on your external image
People say beauty is on the inside. But while there is nothing wrong with that statement, it is also important to note that the same people judge others by their physical appearance. If you also observe how you perceive other people, you will notice that majority of the judgments you instantly make about them are based on their outward form. To quote Gerard Butler from The ugly truth, “No one falls in love with personality at first sight.”
So, the first step that you need to take is to work on yourself from the outside in. This doesn’t mean that you get plastic surgery and entirely change who you are. Instead, you can take minor steps to enhance your features rather than hiding them. For instance, you can get a haircut, get your facial hair groomed, and you can even change your wardrobe to include more form-fitting and body-hugging clothes.
When you make an effort to groom yourself, you are naturally perceived positively by other members of society. In addition to this, you start seeing yourself differently, which automatically raises your confidence.
List down the aspects of yourself that you do not like
The next initiative that you must take is identifying the areas of yourself that you dislike. If you are struggling with confidence, there must be a reason behind it. So, find that reason and write it down. This can be a tough stage; however, it is cardinal in the process of augmenting your confidence. You can even hire essay writers to make time for this stage.
When you have your “flaws” written down, think of all the ways that you can change them. There is nothing in your personality that can’t be changed. Even your habits can be turned around in the timespan of 21 days. So, create plans for yourself, jot down a list of goals and make sure that you stick to the plans that you have made for yourself.
For example, if you do not like the fact that you are not social, you can set goals to change it. These goals can include:
- Week 1: Talk to a stranger. Have a simple conversation for one second
- Week 2: Take a public speaking workshop
- Week 3: Speak at an open mic/ sing karaoke
- Week 4: Take therapy (if required)
Track your progress
The goals you initially create are not set in stone. Thus, you can make adjustments and changes as you go along with them. To do this efficiently, you are required to set goals that you can track and measure.
This way, you can identify the things that are working for you, as well as the elements that are not helping you change. Keeping in mind the previous example, if you are unable to hold a conversation with a stranger, you might not be able to perform at an open mic at all. Thus, you can make changes to your plans, and see a therapist before to ensure that you are progressing in your mission.
Consciously get rid of your negative thoughts
The battle with self-image and self-confidence is mainly cognitive. You struggle with low self-esteem because there is a voice inside your head that is telling you that you are not good enough. Do not validate that voice. Instead, murder it consciously.
Every time you experience a negative or self-destructive thought, accept it, acknowledge it, and then get rid of it. Find a counter-argument to oppose that thought. You can carry a journal or a diary with you that can be used to record all negative thoughts, along with their counter-arguments. This will help you refine and polish your self-image.
Fake the optimism
Sometimes, the negativity in your thoughts is the result of your pessimistic personality. The pessimism compels you to view yourself in a darker light. However, even if you are not generally a positive ray of sunshine, you can fake this trait within yourself.
When you fake optimism, and act, think and behave positively, you will see a change in your self-perception. The positive behaviour may push you to take risks that you otherwise would not have taken. As a result, you will realise that you can do anything if you set your mind to it. This will boost your confidence, thereby pushing you to step outside of your comfort zone.
Empathy is an emotion that you must learn and develop over time. The more empathetic you are, the kinder you will be to other people. This kindness can turn out to benefit you as well. The kinder you are to other people, the reaction you get from them will be similar. As a result, you will be able to feel better about yourself, thus viewing yourself in a better way.
To do this, you can get involved in a charity program, or join a humanitarian cause. If you find the time, you can even volunteer at a local shelter. This will not only improve your self-image but will also assist you in being grateful for the things that you have.
Working on your confidence is a process. You will not become Beyoncé overnight. Instead, you will have to invest your time, face rejection after rejection, and stay committed to your goal until you achieve it. So, stay strong and power through!